He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
