So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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