batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
