awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
