Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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