Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
