she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
