is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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