Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
time to smoke my breakfast
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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