I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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