they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
