A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
