i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
