next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
