guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize