whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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