I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we should paint friendship bongs
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