clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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