I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
