Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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