Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Randomize
