Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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