just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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