Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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