you turned your livingroom into a bong?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
