who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
