i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
