The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
