The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
