Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
