Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
