I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
