Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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