Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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