Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
