Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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