mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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