So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
