i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
