it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it glows. i had to have it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
