Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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