And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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