whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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