...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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