Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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