so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
