I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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