I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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