what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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