if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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