Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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