i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
