I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
