....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
