he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize