Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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