thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
