it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
