I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
