No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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