# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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